I, like usual, will start this post off by saying, “damn. I haven’t written anything in a while.” Only, this time I don’t necessarily feel the need to write. It’s not that I don’t have the same feelings that I had before… the effects of my stroke still bug me… I still am questioning love, women, and the why’s and why not’s of life… I still have the occassional euphoric feeling of getting a second chance at life…
But you see, I’ve turned a page. I know those things exist. They will for a while. I know myself and my tendencies pretty damn well by now. It’s time to stop dwelling on them, or even focusing on them, and its time to adequately turn that page and move on. So if I haven’t written in a while, it simply has to do with the fact that I started this blog as an outlet; a therapeutic source of meditation, when I couldn’t quite get the words I wanted to say out to anything other than a keyboard. And I don’t feel like that’s an issue any longer. I don’t know, I guess it’s felt… trite? lately. And I guess it’s very important to me that things have a purpose, and I don’t know that what I have written recently has had a specific purpose. I don’t know if this post has a purpose… haha.
I’m still going to write in my blog, don’t get me wrong, just don’t be shocked if it’s a few months in between posts. I still may include some paraphrases from the book i’m writing, updates on my life, and i’m sure a few posts about women will sneak their way in there. But for me, it’s time to not dwell on my past anymore. I’m personally, and soon to be physically, beyond that.
btw, what made me write this, was that I noticed that the other day this blog had 38 hits in a day. I don’t check it that many times in a month. Probably not in a year.
Smile, it feels good.
B