Snow

Here is the newest section of my book. It takes place about a year ago, about 5 or 6 months after my stroke. Enjoy!

 

 

The snow falls and covers all of the pain and all of the hate and my mind is blanketed with wet, fresh serenity. The icicles just dangle there and wait for the spring sun to let them dissipate.The tiny frozen angels dance poetically from the sky, and upon completion of their journey they melt instantly. Some are salvaged and lay in fields or rooftops or my jacket, but this is only temporary salvation. The spring will soon come and what is a season of birth for some is a season of death for others, the snow will soon melt and give fresh run-off to sustain all the life around. The interconnectedness of life is beautiful, and for this reason (and the close call I had a few months ago) I am not afraid anymore. The one fear that is still even conceivable to me is the fear of not living. Not enjoying these tiny milliseconds of life that happen every day. A smile, a shared laugh, an instant of truly loving someone, whatever that tiny moment is, it is beautiful. With all of this recent pain-the memories of Lindsay, the evil words said, the realization that my body doesn’t remember how to function, my grandmother’s death- comes the realization of all that is beauthiful-the positive memories, the love from everyone around me, understanding myself, and what I’ve come to realize is a full circle. Even though I lost my grandmother, a piece of her lives on, and solace and peace are still obtainable. Does a person pass if part of them is always with you? This is the best piece of evidence of the afterlife to me. It isn’t a fable, or a story, it’s the simple fact that the idea and thought of someone never disappear even after one has passed. And life continues to be beautiful.

With the loss of the left side of my brain I have realized what the meaning of beautiful is. I no longer analyze things. My brain is a soft piece of receptive tissue and I am able to soak in everything around me without worrying about time or problems. They no longer matter. I am also able to find, to see, all of the… dare i say religion?… pragmatic dogma in everything that is around me, all of the sentient beings, all of the immovable matter, all of the waste, all of the essences, all of life itself.