Midnight Train

There’s a train that rolls through downtown Fort Collins around midnight nearly every night, and tonight, I stopped hating that train. It was a very strange experience. I was deep in meditation; my window half cracked and the cool late spring air was keeping my breathing easy; a cone of sandalwood incense burned next to my bed; nothingness floated through my mind; until that train came.

My first reaction was to get upset, like I do everytime I hear the train drawing me away from my serenity, but then I realized something: I can’t stop it.

What am I gonna do? I can get mad. I can get riled and lose my meditation and restart my mindful breathing once it passes, but then the train will win. And it will happen tomorrow too. And the next day, and the next… And thats when  I noticed that its the same way with everything that stresses us out. If school bothers you today, whats gonna stop it tomorrow? We all have these daily “trains” that happen everyday. They keep us from enjoying the small things, like my meditation, and trap us in this circle of stress, and anger, and dullness. But the train will eventually pass, whether I am upset or not, and life wll go on. I might as well save myself the headache.

As i was thinking all of this, I calmed down. I noticed that my breathing was still at the same rate as it was before. I was still in the half-lotus. My posture was still exactly the same. I beat the train. And as the train rumbled off into the distance, to awaken others, i felt as though I had conquered a huge obstacle (even though this was just a train).

I hope that tomorrow brings more trains, more challenges, more things to accomplish. I know it will. It will never stop. That midnight train will be there for a long time to come, attempting to disrupt my meditation, and I look forward to it.

Smile, it feels good.

btho