On campus, at 8am, for the last time

Today i finished my last class of my undergraduate education at CSU, and walking through the campus at 8am I was filled with emotions. 3 girlfriends, visits to the hospital, many, many friends, 2 jobs, 5 years, and who knows how much personal growth, have all seemingly flashed through my life, leaving bits and pieces of themselves with me and I’m thankful for the sadness and the joy. I have conquered it all, which seemed sooo impossible at the time. I have endured the pain and relished in the joy, absorbing it all through open eyes and never ending smiles. I don’t know if it’s the sleep deprivation and overload of caffieine, but it’s very surreal to me, the fact that a certain portion of my life that I have known for so long is over. I can effectively close that book and move on to the next. As I said in I think to much, “I think I’m living my autobiography, and this is just a chapter.” What now? Where do I go from here?

In all honesty, it doesn’t matter. Life has this funny way of working itself out when you allow it. I’m in no hurry, and why should I be? If I’m not happy, with whatever I end up doing, it’s up to me to change it, to make myself happy. And so far, I’m succeeding. All the people who question what I do, or what I did, don’t understand that aspect of personal responsibility that I take for my own life, and that they should take for theirs. If you aren’t happy, change whatever is troubling you. Don’t run. Don’t close your eyes. Don’t avoid, or cover, or ignore the problem. Problems are only challenges waiting to make us better people, so beat it (beat it, just beat it). It feels sooo good to defeat something that stands in your way. It allows for you to laugh at, love and live your life.

I glanced back at the campus as I walked away, and it became a memory like all of those that it reminded me of. It became one more obstacle that I defeated.

And all of this at 8am. Usually i’m not even awake yet!

Smile, it feels good!

Btho