Why assholes are assholes

I’m going to do something that I never pictured myself doing. Something that makes me very uneasy. Something that makes me question my own morals, standards and integrity.

I’m going to stand up for asshole guys.

I have a theory. This theory is based off of my assumption that people are generally good. Its also based off of a lot of learning theory, that we soak up what happens around us, figure the consequences of actions, and act accordingly. It suggests that we are products of our environment, however, I do not want to undermind the importance of individuality and genetics, or free will. We control our choices and actions, and have the ability to impact  future decisions based off of how we respond in the present.

All that being said, I’m going to attempt to explain asshole guys. I’m going to do this because recently I have been struggling with the concept of females constantly being attracted to, yet complaining about, assholes. Its an enigma that I have lost sleep over, struggled with, and questioned myself and my morals, not to mention questioned the way i am a typical ‘nice guy’. I think this is likely a more complex problem than my mind can grasp, and so i will come to some vague, general conclusions, I know that.

First, I believe that most people are nice. To begin with. If you meet a 7 year old, he’s not very likely to be a complete jackass to you. So this suggests that somewhere along the line he learned to be a jackass. Often, I think this trickles down from parents, relatives, friends, etc. However, sometimes, he learns this from….women. That’s right, women. Like I said, this kid is soaking up all of the information around him, and basing his actions off of the success and failure of others. So when he sees Mr. Popular be a jackass to Ms. Popular, and it works, he deduces that he too can be a jackass and get a girl. I’M NOT SAYING THIS IS OK. All i’m saying is that its a double edged sword, and that women need to respect themselves and not put up with assholes in the first place.

Now the part i’ve really been struggling with though, is what about the nice guys? Where do they fit in? Well, the hard part is that they don’t. At least not until later in life, when it’s possible. This is where it gets tricky. By this time, women have been putting up with assholes their whole lives! Why should they believe that men are anything but assholes? So now, they expect an asshole to come along. Even if the nice guy comes along, the smallest things are still associated with the asshole. So, even if a woman meets a nice guy, it scares her. She’s been hurt in the past by a seemingly nice guy, and that can’t happen again. Plus, it’s impossible for a nice guy to exist. No one is fucking prince charming. People make mistakes, even the nice guys.

You see, this is what i’ve been struggling with. I am a self proclaimed nice guy. I respect women. Hell, i grew up with 8 of them. I’ve never cheated on a woman. I’ve never hit a woman. I like to pay for things.This list continues. So do I, as a 24 year old, stay on this seemingly impossible track of the nice guy? Do I cross over to the darkside? Is it even possible for a nice guy to find a nice woman anymore, or has our society fucked all that up?

Leave a comment, let me know what you think. It’s fine if you completely disagree with this post. Just remember, I made some brash overgeneralizations.

I’ll still smile cuz it feels good!

Btho